You - Part 5

I want someone to share, to trust. I know love is not like before, when you have your first love... you have some steps back. I have lots… You tend to do things alone most of the times, you learn how to be happy with yourself. But still for me, knowing I can live by myself, I still miss something.

In life we play games, we sometimes have to pretend things are ok, we have to hide, I know how to hide, but I do not want to hide feelings all the time and for the rest of my life.

When I have something that I wish so much in my hands, with me, even knowing what to do, I do not know what to do. It is a mixture of amusement, of staring to something that you thought would be untouchable and really suddenly this dream comes true... it is crazy, in few minutes you just few like sharing seconds (or hours that seems to be seconds...), and they end so quick as you close and open your eyes in a matter of seconds.

It could be interesting to only have sex, but I do not need that. It is important to satisfy our sexual desires, but only the last... as the word say by itself, it is always last.
I do not want more lasts. I want to share good moments with someone else again. To have someone to respect me and I give the same respect.
I do not want to be clubbing and to be chasing for anyone... to satisfy my outside feelings. I can find anyone, anywhere, anytime if I want. We all can…
I want someone to be real.

At the same time, it is easy and hard to say things. I never know how is going to be the interpretation of the other side, but I am open to explain and to make people to be able to understand me.

Do not fell offended for all these words.
I don’t intend to pressure you; I am just saying everything that was kept for a long time.
I just would like to have some feedback from you. What do you think about all these?
You read me saying all these things, that might sound bullshit to you, and I might be more relieved writing all this then saying it.
There is maybe a good answer, a bad answer or no answer.
We sometimes win, we sometimes loose. Life is like that, unless we try, and take the risk, not regretting our acts, trying not to hurt ourselves neither the others.

I am still trying to understand what men want nowadays… women that are strong, women that are week, fragile, a woman that looks after him, a bitch, a woman that cares so much about her partner or a woman that does not care at all.

It is trick and life is a box full of surprises…